SPORTS

IMPERIAL VIEWPOINT
By Empire Columnist TY-B0

Imperial Forces fell victim to their own undisciplined play and a surprisingly energetic rebel team in their fourth-round play-off skirmish yesterday. Though their offensive was firing on all-cylinders, sloppy defensive coverage allowed the insurgents to escape with plans to the newly built Death Star Arena, thus eliminating home-space advantage.

Team owner "Busy Fingers" Palpatine could barely contain his fury as he watched the match slip through his team's fingers from his sky-box high above the playing surface. "It was inexcusable. A lazy, lethargic performance. We just didn't show up tonight and they capitalized on our outdated effects. Let's face it, we outchanced them and outplayed them but they still escaped with the plans. Sometimes the bounces don't go your way, despite digitally re-mastered scenes and cleaned-up mattes."

Coach Doug Moff Bondar admits to some frustration with his team. While the Imperial forces are at their best when pummeling a planet into submission, they tend to slack off when facing an opponent farther down in the standings. "Certainly we weren't up to snuff. We had an off-night and they stole a victory when perhaps they didn't deserve one. We had our chances but we just couldn't capitalize. I thought we might have had a little more jump but we didn't." Team trainer commander Tagge agrees, "We have no one to blame but ourselves. The guys have to look at each other in the dressing room and point the finger at those who aren't showing up night after night. That way we can execute those who aren't with a minimum of fuss."

The Imperial Forces are going to need the increased offensive firepower provided by their new digital stormtroopers. Unfortunately, the digital troopers tend to fire off-screen and not hit anything that wasn't already blowing up in previous editions. The sweep of the Trade Alliance during the clone wars has been thrown out the window so it's a whole new game. But, the Empire would do well to remember how effective even a single pilot can be in destroying a space station. The Rebels have a very strong transition game which tends to confuse Empire forces so it's important for the stars to elevate their play and Darth Vader is definitely a big game kind of guy. Wing man and clone 345-Batch 20 agrees. "Lord Vader is our number one guy out in space and in the dressing room, although none of the guys will shower with him. He's a natural master who leads by example AND fear."

But can Imperial Forces regroup and rekindle their fighting spirit? Bondar thinks so. "We'll just have to dig deep and give 110% of our firepower when the star cannon is operational." His team agrees.
Rookie trooper 712-Batch 41 is thrilled at his first opportunity to play at this level. "It's a great match-up. We've got momentum and the power to destroy whole planets in the blink of an eye. And they've got... well, nothing really. It's a good match-up." If the Empire can take a page from the recently eliminated Borg playbook and react as a team, they should carry the day. Coach Doug Moff Bondar agrees. "The Borg are the ultimate team players. Everyone knows they have a role to fill and they fill it. We have guys going off and trying to play hero and it results in too many penalties. We need to avoid retaliation. Oops, did I say that? Heh, heh... Actually retaliation is our whole game-plan!"

The good news is that the Empire has picked up the option on Lord Vader's contract and the new Death Star Stadium is a dream to play-in and around. Although, last spring they opened the dome and a good seventy percent of their fan base was sucked out into space. The main thing the Empire has to overcome is the inexhaustible hope of their opponents. Captured rebel pilot Tiddly Winks agrees, "We believe we can win. You guys aren't invincible. What's that? Keep it away from me... AAAAUUGHH!!!!"

Despite being the overwhelming favourites to win this battle, some players are superstitious regarding Ben Kenobi's cryptic final words, "You can't win, Darth. If you strike me down, I will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine." But Lord Vader appears unconcerned. "Obi Wan should not have returned. His powers were weak. It's just trash talking. I've done it myself." For his part, Grand Moff Tarkin is confident his team will go all the way, delivering an impassioned speech to the board hours before game time with the enunciation of a Shakespearean-trained thespian. "We will crush the rebellion with one, swift stroke."

The Final Skirmish airs this evening on Pay-Per-Holo as soon as the Death Star rounds Dantooine and comes into firing range of the rebel base.

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Rebel Forces staged a spectacular, come-from-behind victory against the Imperial Alliance yesterday when a small band of rebels escaped the clutches of the Empire with the plans for the almost-functional Death Star. Despite this victory, the official Empire position released today is one of confidence. According to admiral Motti, "Any attack made by the rebels against this station would be a useless gesture, no matter what data they've obtained. This space station is now the ultimate power in the universe."

Team President and GM Princess Leia disagrees with that pessimistic outlook. "Stats mean nothing. We have a lot of heart. We're not just going to lay down and give up. The Empire has pushed us to the brink but they haven't eliminated us yet. Momentum is a crazy thing. It can shift in an instant and I think escaping with those plans has tipped the scales. The more Tarkin tightens his grip, the more star systems are going to slip through his fingers."

The Rebels are a well-coached team under the supervision of Head Coach Mon Mothma but they still have a lot of holes to fill. However, Mon Mothma refuses to let such considerations become an excuse for bad play. "We lost that all-important, veteran presence when Darth Vader slaughtered the remaining Jedi Knights, but our rookies are adapting to playing at this elite level. Still, we're looking to shore up for the final assaults. A cocky, smuggler, a wookie and a new, hopeful Jedi presence would sure come in handy right now." Still, the courageous play of wily veteran R2D2 has Mon Mothma smiling. "He's played well for us. That's what every team needs; a little droid who can steal a game or two. R2-D2's gotta be in the running for league MVP."

Imperial Forces have displayed a tendency to underestimate smaller opponents, a tendency the rebels plan to take full advantage of. "Discipline is the key," admits Mon Mothma. "We need to force them to play our game. It's old-fashioned, fire-wagon, dog-fighting. One-on-one we've got a shot. I mean, their TIE Fighters don't have any shields for God's sake." Some think the rebels style has been too quiet and favour a final confrontation to boost morale, but Mothma disagrees. "If you're winning, it doesn't matter what system you're playing. When you win, it's fun. Suicide however, is not fun. We just had a small victory and it's whetted our appetites. We're confident, but we have to consider the greater scheme. This is a nine-movie series, after all. It ain't over till the fat Jedi sings."

The number one concern of the rebel forces has to be all-star player Darth Vader. Veteran Wedge Antilles agrees. "The Empire will only go as far as Vader can carry them. He really dominates the game and changes the flow the moment he steps onto the field. He just says 'Climb on my back, boys' and suddenly it's game over!" Special teams will make all the difference and it's in this area that the Rebel Forces have excelled. They simply do not behave the way Imperial Forces expect and that unpredictability throws their opponents into disarray. Empire gunner and clone 721-Batch 39 admits his team needs focus. "They (the rebels) get you off our game and suddenly you're making bad decisions and firing wide. You start pressing and loose that flow."

All concerned agree on one thing: special teams will make the difference in the coming battle. The force is strong in several of the new rebel players and they have shown a maturity and poise in battle beyond their years. The Empire has shown an alarming tendency to repeat the same plays over and over, favouring large engines of destruction while the rebels have found success with quick efficiency and surgical strikes.

Still, GM Princess Leia has several large holes to fill in very little time. The Rebel defense is negligible once the Death star is in range and negotiations with late-season signing Han Solo are not moving forward. And, worst of all, Obi Wan Kenobi is out indefinitely due to an illegal vapourizing. Rookie sensation Luke Skywalker admits it's a hard loss to bear. "He was a big guy in the dressing room. He hadn't played in few years but you can't just look at stats for a player like Obi Wan. He was a real team guy and morale booster... always ready with a quip or supportive comment. The young guys really looked up to him."

Rebel interpreter C3-PO assured this reporter that the odds against a rebel victory are astronomical. Despite the odds, Leia and Azul are confident their untried troops stand more than a chance against the Death Star. "As Darth Vader himself pointed out," read Leia from a prepared statement, the ability to destroy a planet is insignificant to the power of the Force. We've just gotta stay positive."

Catch all the action tonight on Pay-Per-Holo.

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Contract negotiations between newly-acquired pilot Han Solo and the Rebel Alliance are at a standstill. Both parties appear to be miles apart on the issue of salary. Rebel GM Princess Leia has attempted to meet Solo's agent in the middle with offers of bonuses based on performance but was disgusted by Solo's smarmy double-entendré replies. Appeals to Solo's team spirit were also lost on the stubborn smuggler. "Our friend is quite a mercenary. I wonder if he really cares about anything... or anyone." Leia has confirmed that Rebel forces may be forced to meet Solo's salary demands. "He needn't worry about his reward. If money is all that he loves, then that's what he'll receive." Debate still rages as to whether Solo's services are worth the cost of removing Jabba the Hut's bounty from his head. The matter is expected to go to arbitration.

Rebel representatives have demanded that league officials look into the unfortunate vapourizing injury to high-profile player Obi Wan Kenobi. Team physicians have listed Kenobi as day to day, insisting it's difficult to determine the extent of his injuries without a body to inspect. The disciplinary board is looking at game tape featuring the Kenobi incident but a ruling will be delayed due to the disbanding of the Imperial Senate. If history is any indication, Senate action would be unlikely anyway. Several years ago when the Empire was still a loose collection of up and coming Sith schemers, they lost key player Jango Fett to a nasty, beheading injury. No suspension was ever levied. Kenobi's spot on the roster is expected to be filled by prospect Luke Skywalker

Despite the excitement around the upcoming Empire/Rebel fourth round playoff match, ticket sales for the event have been slow. Imperial governor and League GM Grand Moff Tarkin is reportedly disappointed that the battle is taking place in such a remote part of the galaxy. "Dantooine wass too remote to make an effective demonstration of the Death Star's power. But sales have been brisk since we blew up Alderaan in prime time and shifted the venue to the 4th Moon of Yavin." When this holo-paper informed him that people weren't exactly lining up for the"Stabbin' On Yavin", Tarkin's outward display of calm gave way to anger. "This bickering is pointless. Fear will keep the local systems in line; fear of this battle station." Tarkin also scoffed at those fans who plan to have their ships standing by, just in case. "Evacuate? In our moment of triumph? I think they overestimate the Rebel's chances. Besides, it's Darth Vader bobble-head day and they'll miss a chance to win fabulous prizes." When pressed for comment on the slow box-office and lack of fan interest, Lord Vader said he found their lack of faith, "disturbing". Tickets are still available at all Imperial outlets.

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