GOSSIP

THE WALLS HAVE EARS With Skye Hopper

Star Gazing: Rumour has it that a certain Grand Moff has quietly extended an olive branch to former aide-turned-rebel Admiral Azul. The two were spotted in an out of the way Otah Gunga eatery sharing an intimate seafood repast. Tarkin was giggling like a schoolgirl as the pair teasingly fought over what wine went best with "negotiations". For his part, the attractive and unattached Azul's animatronic eyes where whirling in their sockets at Tarkin's declarations of "war". Attempts to iron out their differences over lobster bisque were interrupted by the arrival of a battalion of stormtroopers, who offered to take care of Azul's "bill" by vaporizing the entire staff. Discretion proved the better part of valour when the elusive and eligible dissident slipped out the back while the waters of Naboo's largest ocean poured in on the surprised Empire soldiers.

Just Teasing: What pert, outspoken princess has been spotted juggling the affections of two heroic heartthrobs? Way to keep it in the family, girl!

I Spy: There have been a spate of Darth Maul sightings lately. The beloved, late Sith Lord has been spotted pumping fuel at an Anchorhead depot and flipping tauntaun burgers at a Hoth fast-food joint. One sharp-eyed reader swears they spotted Darth Maul's top half doing dishes at a Tatooine commissary and his bottom half tap-dancing his way through an all-star review at Jabba the Hutt's Dune Sea Casino. I don't know if Maul's one half knows what the other half is doing but I do know which end is having more fun. You can catch Darth Maul impersonator Dearth Talent performing all week long on sub-level L-28.

Dark Daddy?: What tall, dark and mysterious Sith Lord with an interest in genealogy has been discreetly cutting child-support cheques for over eighteen years?

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